When One Spouse Has Had An Affair
Is there hope to save a marriage when one spouse has had an affair? There may be moments when you hate the other person and want to visit a divorce lawyer right away. Then, the next minute you’ll do anything to reconcile. How do you deal with these conflicting emotions? And, is there hope to save a marriage?
There are very few marital problems that cause as much heartache and devastation as infidelity. Money worries, disagreements about children or a serious illness can strain a relationship, but because of the deep sense of betrayal, infidelity undermines the foundation of marriage itself.
But, divorce doesn't have to be the inevitable resolution to such cheating. When you say, “is there hope to save a marriage,” you have already answered the question. As long as you want it, there’s hope.
Counseling, healing time, and the mutual goal of rebuilding the relationship can help some couples emerge from infidelity with a stronger and more honest relationship than before.
After an affair is discovered, there are some specific things you should do.
For instance, you need to get support. This can come from family, friends, a pastor, or a therapist. But, don’t try to face this situation on your own.
Next, you need to give each other some space. There is a lot of emotional stress placed on a relationship at this time. By taking an emotional “time out” you give yourselves time to regroup.
Finally, take the time you need to sort things out. Don’t delve into the intimate details of the affair with your partner right away. Postpone these discussions until you can talk without being accusatory or destructive. It may even be a good idea to air out your feelings with someone who is a good listener before you can have a constructive conversation with your spouse.
You also need to define what an affair is to you. For instance, most people would consider a sustained physically sexual relationship to be an affair. Others would consider a one night stand to have violated the marital vows. Still others would consider feeling sexually drawn to another without any physical activity to be adulterous.
Talk about these feelings. Make sure that you are on the same page regarding what an affair will mean for your marriage.
If there has been a single instance of straying, there is a good chance of reconciliation. Multiple incidences of infidelity make it more difficult for the marriage to be sustained.
So, if you are wondering “is there hope to save a marriage” the answer is that there is, but you have to handle things after the revelation of the affair correctly.